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Okay I really want to become a faithful blogger, but I hit my bed and go straight to sleep. I’m somewhat forcing this blog because I know I need to write out my emotions. Tis the season to have word vomit.

I went on a night adventure with Mr. Moment. I refuse to call it a date because that requires both parties to agree its a date. I owed him a dinner, so I stuck to my word. I can comfortably say the night was aight. We had dinner, went to a bar/lounge, got drunk, and went back to his town. I was proud of myself. I didn’t have sex with him. I didn’t feel the need to have sex with him, until I feel asleep….then it happend. I had emotionless sex with him.

Have you ever had emotionless sex with someone you cared about deeply and now can’t stand them? I can’t say I can’t stand him, but I’m over that chapter. He was a real eye opener. I can’t let any man into my life anymore. I can’t introduce guys to my family. I don’t want to meet theirs. I don’t want to meet their friends. I don’t want to spend time getting to know someone when I know the shit will not lead me anywhere. I dislike the woman I’m going to become because of this shit. Wait I take that back. I love the woman I will become because of this. I will be STRONGER! I have never been this mind fucked by a man I was NEVER in a committed relationship with. Its okay though, lesson learned.

Maybe its not completely learned because I sent him a text this morning. I wanted to know why we haven’t dated. I was told a few weeks ago my a past suitor ” You don’t want to be happy”. The fuck was wrong. I don’t want to be with an ugly dude who has a HUGE EGO. I would rather be alone than be with someone who believes he is the best thing since sliced bread. Get the #fuckouttahere. When Mr. Moment responded it was a valid answer, but I forgot about the situation.

YOOOOOO MY LIFE IS FUCKIN RIDICULOUS! I LITERALLY JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH HIM.. He actually was returning my call from earlier which was business related. Wow. After we cleared that up, he mentioned the text. For a quick moment I got the butterflies in my stomach, a smile came across my face, and I hoped he’d love me. He still doesn’t. lmao. I’m still shocked he called as I was writing this blog. How ironic is that?

Tis the Season to be loved or lonely and masturbating.
Mary Joseph Jr.

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