This morning I looked at the beautiful foggy bridge, ferry building, and christmas light that make my building shine through the night. This morning I kept hearing Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful” and Adele’s “Someone Like You” in my mind. I just cried my little heart out. I cried for 10 minutes and wrote a poem afterwards. No the poem isn’t titled 24 year, 24 tears. lol I titled it Un-Committed. I probably won’t post it on here, because I’m moving forward.
Before I move foward, I should recap on my bday festivities. I ended up getting sick, regretting Mr. Moment, and enjoying my time with my bacon. Not the food bacon, but my friend bacon. I had a suite with a beautiful view, large bathroom, tons of alcohol, and all the people I love dearly. In the end my birthday wasn’t as glamorous as I hoped it’d be. The actual day sucked, and I can’t recall the party. Yippie 24!
So working a fulltime 40hr a week job with 2 hour commute is finally getting me to grow up. I can’t ignore the fact I spent 3 years in an uncommitted relationship with a man whom I will probably always think is my soul mate. I can’t figure out why I haven’t choosen a career. I don’t understand why my family irritates me more and more each day. I dislike the fact I notice myself getting jealous of friends who are in relationships or seriously dating someone.
The only thing that is getting me out of my mood is GLEE. lol Music seduces my ears, fucks my mind, and puts me at ease. Tonight I might just stay up all night and listen to music. I don’t want to talk about love anymore. I will just have to put up with my family until I have more stability. My career path is heading in the right direction. I shouldn’t be jealous of people in empty relationships. I’m human though and those emotions are real. Unfotunately negativity can take over and destroy a person.
The one thing I’ve learned at 24 is commitment is very important, from relationships to careers. Today, I shed my last tears over Mr. Moment. I had an unsettling feeling about his relevance in my life as things started to progress for me. I pulled the ultimatum card out and the jury is still out on that. We haven’t reached a verdict yet lol I shouldn’t have done that because now I’m not sure if I want him anymore.
Growth = Progress
Mary Joseph Jr.
This song captures all of my Mr. Moment emotions.