Employment = money. Money = empty purchases. Empty purchases – no future. Hella random I know. If you’ve read my previous blog then you know I got some pretty bad news lately. Now I don’t care about money, cars, clothes, none of the material shit. I just want to be healthy. I just want to stay SANE. It’s definitely hard to do. I think I have a fabulous professional support system. My doctors love me and I have never felt a personal relationship with any doctor before. Depression has kicked in, self esteem is back in a questionable zone, and all I really want is HIM  to hold me. I need to be an advocate for my disease. I’m unsure if working fulltime will be right for me emotionally and physically. I’m kinda screwed up mentally. So what do I do? It’s a lot I have to take in, adjust to, and work on. I’m not ready for it. I just want to sleep, cry, and turn back the hands of time.  I want to work, but my body won’t let me. My mind is fucking with me and my bank account is about to be angry with me. Words will proabably never express all that I want to say.

MJJ

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