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Well, well, well. CLARITY! After experiencing a demeaning conversation with my ex I had a fantastic date with Kay. I was going to flake on this man because the words of another destroyed me. I was going to close up because I couldn’t take any more humiliation. I must say not listening to my inner thoughts worked this past weekend.

I was told he wasn’t in love with me at one point during our relationship and questioned if I had some female’s shirt. Who does that shit? They guy who unintentionally breaks me down. The guy who I thought was going to be my eternity. They guy who doesn’t see a future with me. After I cried my entire brain out I showered and press the restart button.

Kay is sweet. He’s the total opposite of what I’m attracted to. Kay didn’t make me feel belittled. Kay made me laugh. It was refreshing to know that someone wants to get to know me with no strings attached. He’s cool. Is he the end all be all? No. He might be if I don’t shut down and open him up. However, how can I do that when the ex stays in my system? All I can do is try. What harm will that do me?

I’ll never love a man more than he loves me. I’ll never jump over the fence and to the moon for a man who won’t appreciate it. Timing is everything. If I’m an option then I can’t be with you. If you’re confused as to whether we should be together then I can’t be with you. I’ve changed. I’ve grown. I hoped for something I knew was out of reach.

I’ll try something different for a while. Being nice doesn’t work.

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