Still a bachelorette…. but a few things have changed

Tags

ex boyfriend, ex girlfriend, family, growth, lover, Memoir of Bachelorette, motherhood, Relationships

It’s been over a year since I’ve even read let alone posted something here. I even started a new blog, but had no follow through.  So let me just give a quick update:

Work
Employed with a company for about 1.5 years now. Still not in my desired field, but thankful for the opportunity.

Education
Currently trying to write my Personal Statement for a few Univiersities. Truthfully it’s the reason I came here to seek some inspiration.

Love
Depending on the day you ask me. I’m either deeply in love or over powered with a strong dislike.

Family
I am a mother now. BOOM!

now to the juicy part…..

My life has been pushed, pulled, tangled and twisted over the past few years. The best part of everything is my daughter. I’m not married, so I am still a bachelorette. Ya know my life wouldn’t be complete without issues in the love department.

I just recently started talking back to Mr. Moment. (He’s not her father btw.) We had a really bad falling out. I chose not to speak with him anymore. I hated him. I invested my energy into that man. I gave all I could. I told myself I wouldn’t give my all to anyone else. I couldn’t divulge my secrets with another man. I couldn’t be the chef, chauffer, sex vixen to another. I was only going to give 50% if that.

Then I met someone. Everything moved quickly from the pregnancy to us living together. I wanted to give him what the wrong person had. I did. I loved. I coooked. I cleaned. I tried. Somehow along the way everything got blurry. Once upon a time I saw myself marrying him. Then I didn’t. I stopped doing the things I once did. I stopped caring.

I reached out to Mr. Moment to release the anger I carried. I thought if I forgave him I could move forward with my own relationship.  I needed to clear my mind of him to refocus my energy on my current relationship. He was the one I was suppose to share these experiences with and I didn’t. I just wanted peace and maybe I could get some insight on what I should be doing.

I knew he was with her. She was the reason we weren’t together. He knew nothing about me. I shared my life. He congratulated me and I thanked him. One conversatio lead to daily conversations. We caught up on each others lives. We still felt the same way we once did many moons ago. We both have significant others. We both have come to an unhappy point in our seperate relationships. Hopefully we can help each other.

He knows how I feel. I know how he feels. I have to go my way and he must go his. If circumstances don’t change… nevermind.

My focus is my child and our happiness. I’ve never felt love like how I do with her. She is my reason. I don’t want to deny my child the chance at growing up in a two parent hosuehold. However, if her father and I don’t work out I may continue my quest for love. At 28 and a mother I have a new perspective on life: You should be happy by any means necessary. Dark days come, but don’t stay there. Life is too short for bullshit. Just a few of the new gems I live by.

xo
(Mother) Mary Joseph Jr.
hahha that name still tickles me

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Death Is No Laughing Matter, But This Is.

Tags

but that happens sometimes., Death, family, funeral, funny, guide, humor, Life, Memoir of Bachelorette, wordpress

I started writing a book of some sort?!? I’m not sure what to call it. It’s like a memoir/ non-fiction guide book for funerals. LMAO Who does that? I guess my sick ass does. I have been to so many funerals in my 25 years of living. I vowed in 2011 I wouldn’t go to anymore. Then my mom died in 2012 and when my dad dies then I guess I’ll have to go to that one. However, I can’t go to anymore relative/non-relative funerals. Shit gets real at funerals. I’ve decided to come up with a few rules. I’ll probably post more within the next few months, but so far this is what I have.

NEVER RIDE IN THE LIMO

That damn limo ride. It might be worse than the actual service. Its like a big family confessional. Sex, lies, and all kinds of stories have been told inside the “family limo”. If you want to find something out then ride in the limo! You might be pleasantly surprised or pissed off.

The last time I was suppose to ride in the family limo I couldn’t. My brother and cousin had to bring their son’s and with that came car seats. Which meant my sister and I wouldn’t be able to ride because the runts and their runt seats took ours! Luckily my sister drover so we rode together.

Well, some idiot didn’t confirm with the drivers for a drop off to out family house after the festivities. So you can guess what happened next! All those people in the limo got dropped off at the church, ride-less. Talk about comedy, I was rolling, but the kicker was on the way to the burial site someone got kicked out of the limo because they tried to smoke some weed. WTF you F***ing idiot! This is why I say humor is all around us, especially during funerals.

If You Have Nothing Nice to Say, Sit in the Last Pew

I will never forget the time my mother, sister, cousin, and I almost got kicked out the service. Why? Because my lovely mother was walking a load of mess with her two minions co-signing. Just imagine hearing “Yeah Yeah, he was mean as hell.” “ Nobody really liked him” “ Hmm DNA tests can prove you wrong” Talking about laughing my ass off. I must’ve hushed, laughed, fell, and cried from the humor. Now some of the things she was saying were true, but the rest were on called for. On top of that the professional mourner of the mortuary kept looking back at us and asking us to shush. She didn’t even know him which gave her no right to shush us. You’re probably asking how do I know she’s a professional mourner. Did I ask her? No I asked my family who she was. We’d had a few services at this mortuary and she’s always there. Sitting in the same place, with the same fake cry. It beats prostituting. This was honestly one of the most funny funerals I’d ever attended. That wasn’t even the worst part. My male and female cousin decided to speak during the services.

My male cousin got up first. Why do we allow dumb shit to occur? We all knew he was about to say something ignorant, but we didn’t expect this. He started off saying we need to come together more often instead of when death happens. Which I somewhat agreed with. Then this fools starts saying we need to come together like tigers in the jungle. Our cubs need to play together. Because we are tigers. He kept making tiger references like the deceased was a tiger tamer or cat owner. Which he was neither of. WHOA I had no clue what kind of high he was on, but apparently we missed that flight. Bless my cousin, but he might be a little touched.

Next up was my female cousin. She said something sweet, kind, and straight to the point. Just when I was about to clap she burst into the one and only songs people know how to sing at a funeral, “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye”. It was so hard for me not to cry when she made my ears bleed. I didn’t know ONE person was capable of singing bass, alto, and soprano at once. I couldn’t believe this monstrosity was taking place so I just started zoning out and staring at the plastic gnomes and deer. Yes, the mortuary has plastic gnomes and deer. It’s nice scenery, something out of Snow White. Well, when I came back from my trance the laughter from my pew continued and got louder.

Somehow between all of that nonsense the cousin sitting with us reaches in her large breasts and pulls her phone out. Not only does she answer a call, but she loudly whispers to the person what just happened. Embarrassed wasn’t and still isn’t the best word to use to describe how I felt. All you can do at that point is take part in the buffoonery. Like the title says if you have nothing nice to say, sit in the last pew or furthest away from the family.

Volun-WHAT? How Did My Name End Up in The Obituary

Have you ever sat there minding your business then open the obituary and see your name signed up for something? Okay, neither have I, but my brother has. Talk about funny, that was unremarkably funny. Not only did they volunteer my brother to be a pallbearer, but because he was late, like super late, they recruited my ex-brother-in-law. Ha that dirty monkey mouthed bastard was good for something. They gave him the white gloves and even had him sit closer to the front. When my slow poke brother finally did and we showed him his name, he hollered. I think people assumed it was out of grief, UH NO!
For some strange reason, people might not make it to do their part during the service like read the eulogy or sing. Its rare, but I’ve seen it happen twice. So then it’s the volunteers. Here’s my thing:
A. If you can’t read don’t volunteer.
B. If you can’t sing don’t volunteer.
C. Don’t let other members volunteer you.
Singing off key is automatic entry into my highlight reel. Mispronouncing simple words or worse the persons name is automatic entry into my highlight reel. Reading is fundamental. If necessary pre-read the eulogy before you stand, speak, and make a fool of yourself.

-Mary Joseph Jr.

The Adjustment

Tags

family, Life

I haven’t blogged in so long I feel out of my element. I have so much on my mind, the blog world wouldn’t understand half the shit I’d post. I’m adjusting to a new life without a mother. I’m adjusting to being in an adult relationship. I’m adjusting to this new family dynamic which is some bullsh. I’m re-evaluating friendships. Some people have had some strange intentions since my mother’s passing. It’s all an adjustment. I plan on moving out of state soon. I just got a phone call regarding a job interview in TEXAS. Unfortunately I can’t get out there this week to interview. FAWK The position isn’t the best, but it’s a start. I’m looking for a new beginning. I know it’s not in CALI unless I get some sort of development deal for a show. lololol I’m laughing, but oh so serious. I’m ready to break free without having a net (family) to catch me if I fail. Why waste time living if you don’t take a chance?

Mary Joseph Jr.