It’s been over a year since I’ve even read let alone posted something here. I even started a new blog, but had no follow through. So let me just give a quick update:
Employed with a company for about 1.5 years now. Still not in my desired field, but thankful for the opportunity.
Currently trying to write my Personal Statement for a few Univiersities. Truthfully it’s the reason I came here to seek some inspiration.
Depending on the day you ask me. I’m either deeply in love or over powered with a strong dislike.
I am a mother now. BOOM!
now to the juicy part…..
My life has been pushed, pulled, tangled and twisted over the past few years. The best part of everything is my daughter. I’m not married, so I am still a bachelorette. Ya know my life wouldn’t be complete without issues in the love department.
I just recently started talking back to Mr. Moment. (He’s not her father btw.) We had a really bad falling out. I chose not to speak with him anymore. I hated him. I invested my energy into that man. I gave all I could. I told myself I wouldn’t give my all to anyone else. I couldn’t divulge my secrets with another man. I couldn’t be the chef, chauffer, sex vixen to another. I was only going to give 50% if that.
Then I met someone. Everything moved quickly from the pregnancy to us living together. I wanted to give him what the wrong person had. I did. I loved. I coooked. I cleaned. I tried. Somehow along the way everything got blurry. Once upon a time I saw myself marrying him. Then I didn’t. I stopped doing the things I once did. I stopped caring.
I reached out to Mr. Moment to release the anger I carried. I thought if I forgave him I could move forward with my own relationship. I needed to clear my mind of him to refocus my energy on my current relationship. He was the one I was suppose to share these experiences with and I didn’t. I just wanted peace and maybe I could get some insight on what I should be doing.
I knew he was with her. She was the reason we weren’t together. He knew nothing about me. I shared my life. He congratulated me and I thanked him. One conversatio lead to daily conversations. We caught up on each others lives. We still felt the same way we once did many moons ago. We both have significant others. We both have come to an unhappy point in our seperate relationships. Hopefully we can help each other.
He knows how I feel. I know how he feels. I have to go my way and he must go his. If circumstances don’t change… nevermind.
My focus is my child and our happiness. I’ve never felt love like how I do with her. She is my reason. I don’t want to deny my child the chance at growing up in a two parent hosuehold. However, if her father and I don’t work out I may continue my quest for love. At 28 and a mother I have a new perspective on life: You should be happy by any means necessary. Dark days come, but don’t stay there. Life is too short for bullshit. Just a few of the new gems I live by.
(Mother) Mary Joseph Jr.
hahha that name still tickles me